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Chapter 3

An Overdue Talk 

Hermione was still searching for her diary, but was getting no success. She was scared about what if somebody got his or her hands on it. Moreover, what she would do if Harry found it.

It's been almost a week since Hermione had a decent conversation with Harry. After his outburst in the common room, Harry has been avoiding her. He would only talk to her when it was absolutely necessary and he had no other alternative. It was pretty much clear that he was avoiding Hermione only, as he was talking with everyone else.

It's not that Hermione didn't try to speak with him. She tried so many times during last week to talk to him but he always made excuses to get away from her. Hermione was a patient girl but she too had her limit. Towards the end of the week, Hermione decided that it was more than she could take from Harry. She tried all the friendly ways to make him talk to her; however, she hardly had any success. Now was the time to use the force. She knew Harry was going to be very angry with what she was about to do, but he left her with no other alternative.

It was Sunday morning. Hermione woke up early and got ready. Gryffindor common room was still empty when she arrived there. Hermione decided what she was going to do. Last night Ron had told her that their Quidditch team was having an early practice. Hermione had asked Ron to bring Harry in the empty Charms class after their practice.

Hermione checked the time. There was still half an hour before the breakfast time.

'There practice should be over by now.' Hermione thought.

Hermione left the common room and made her way to the Charms corridor. It took her about 10 minutes to reach there. When she reached there, she noticed that Charms class was open and voices could be heard, coming from the class.

Hermione slowly made her way to the class and peeked inside. Harry and Ron were there. Ron was crouched under the table, looking for something, while Harry was standing near the teacher's table, where two broomsticks were lying. He was looking very annoyed.

"Did you find it Ron?" Harry asked in a frustrated voice.

"No Harry," was Ron's reply.

"Ron, how can you forget your Charms homework here?" Harry asked exasperatedly.

"Wait. When did you do your homework? It's not due till next Friday." Harry said frustratingly, making his way to the back of the class, where Ron was under the table.

Ron came out of the table and found Harry standing in front of him, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

Hermione decided that it was time to save Ron. She entered the room silently.

It looked like Harry sensed her presence as he turned around and looked at her.

For a couple of minutes everything was quiet as Harry and Hermione simply stared at each other.

Hermione suddenly realized how much she had missed Harry. It felt like ages since she had seen him this close for more than just a couple of seconds.

Hermione had expected Harry to walk away as soon as he noticed her presence; however, he didn't. He was still standing there, looking at her intently.

For a moment or two, Harry was surprised to see Hermione in the Charms classroom. However, as surprise wore off, he realized that he wanted nothing more than to pull Hermione in his arms and kiss her.

'Wow! When did I start thinking about kissing Hermione?' Harry thought feeling astonished. He felt guilty seeing distressed look on Hermione's face. There were faint brownish circles under her eyes; clearly, the resultant of worry and sleepless nights and Harry was sure all this was because of him.

Lost in thoughts Harry and Hermione didn't notice Ron sighing with relief and leaving the class with the broomsticks in his hands.

Hermione stepped closer to Harry and touched his cheek. Harry closed his eyes at her touch, covering her hand with his own.

"I have missed you Harry." Hermione said in a soft voice. Harry opened his eyes and looked at his best friend and most important person in his life.

"I have missed you too." Harry replied in heartfelt voice.

Hermione moved closer to him and hugged him tight, before letting him go.

"Don't you think Harry I deserve an explanation over why have you been avoiding me for last one week?" Hermione said in a hurt voice.

Harry remembered why he was avoiding her and why he was angry with her. He had almost forgotten it after seeing her so close to him.

"I know, but I don't think I want to tell you. It had got nothing to do with you." Harry said stiffly.

Hermione felt her anger rising at Harry's reply.

"So that's it. Huh? You don't want to tell me. If you remember, we tell everything to each other. Since when had you started hiding things from me Harry?" Hermione shouted.

"You just decide it on your own that you don't want to tell me. Fine, then why are you avoiding me? Of course, whatever you are not telling me has something to do with me. So I have every right to know what's bothering you, concerning me." Hermione said angrily.

Harry could feel his own anger rising at Hermione's angry tirade. It looked like Hermione was going to continue. However, Harry interrupted her.

"Aren't you being a hypocrite?" Harry asked sarcastically.

Hermione was shocked at what Harry said.

"What you mean by that?" Hermione asked in a trembling voice.

"You say that I am hiding things from you. However, from where I am seeing the things, I am not the only one who's hiding something. You have been hiding something from me as well." Harry said heatedly.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked in a confused and a little worried voice.

"I'll tell you what am I talking about?" Harry said gritting his teeth, as he took hold of Hermione's wrist tightly and started pulling her along with him out of the Charms classroom.

"Harry, what?" Hermione squealed.

However, Harry didn't respond. He simply dragged Hermione with him to the Gryffindor tower and then to the 6th year boys' dormitory.

When Harry opened the door of boys' dormitory, he found Dean and Seamus reading a Quidditch magazine.

"Leave the dorm." Harry said in a commanding voice.

"Why? It's our dorm too. You can go somewhere to snog each other." Seamus retorted back. He didn't realize the danger he was putting himself in, by aggravating Harry more than he already was. However, Dean realized. He knew about the tension, which was brewing between Harry and Hermione for last one week. Looking at the way Harry was holding Hermione's hand and the look of distress on Hermione's face, he knew something was going to happen. It was better to leave them as quickly as possible.

"Come on Seamus. Let's go." Dean said hastily, getting up from the bed.

"What?" Seamus exclaimed.

"Just get up." Dean hissed.

Seamus scowled at Harry when he moved to leave the dorm with Dean; Harry scowled back at him.

Harry released Hermione's hand from his firm grip and closed the door of the dorm. He took out his wand from the pocket of his Quidditch robes and cast a Muffliato charm and a locking charm on the door.

Harry turned and looked at Hermione who was massaging her wrist.

"What the hell was that for?" She said snappily, "You could have asked me to come with you."

Harry didn't say anything as he moved to where his bed was situated. He knelt down to open his trunk and started looking for the diary. Hermione looked at him curiously, as he was searching.

After a couple of minutes, Harry stood up with diary in his hand and turned around to look at Hermione.

Hermione met his gaze with her own curious eyes, before her eyes fell on the diary in his hand. Her face turned white.

"Do you know what this is, Hermione?" Harry asked in a calm voice as he walked towards Hermione and stopped right in front of her just a couple of inches apart.

Hermione simply stared at the diary in Harry's hand. She gathered her courage and looked in Harry's eyes. He had an unreadable look in his eyes.

Hermione knew since the cat was already out of the bag, there was no point in denying.

"Where did you find it?" She asked tentatively.

"I found it in the common room." Harry said in a calm voice.

Hermione simply nodded. She took a deep breath and asked the next decisive question.

"Did you read it?" She whispered, preparing herself for his answer.

"Yes." Harry answered in a low voice.

Nobody spoke anything after that. They simply stared at each other, before Hermione decided to break their staring contest.

Hermione knew she was in deep trouble. There were very high chances that she might lose Harry's friendship forever. Her heart was breaking little by little, as the silence stretched and Harry didn't say anything else.

While Hermione was feeling like breaking down, Harry was going through his own personal turmoil. He wanted to shout at Hermione, he wanted to ask her that why she didn't tell him about her feelings. He wanted to ask her that why she kept everything bottled up inside her heart, when she was hurting so much. Didn't she know that if she was in pain, it hurt him as well? He finally snapped.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked angrily.

Hermione looked up at him in surprise. "What did you expect from me to tell you?" Hermione asked, looking astonished.

Hermione didn't know what to think. Did Harry really expect her to tell him about her feelings? If he did, it was completely ridiculous. For God's sake, he was already pining for Cho that time.

"About your feelings," Harry answered without any hesitation, as though if it was the most obvious answer in the whole world.

Hermione looked at Harry in disbelief. "Honestly Harry! Are you out of your mind? Did you really expect me to tell about my feelings, when you were already infatuated with Cho Chang?" She asked incredulously.

Harry was speechless for a moment.

"She doesn't matter. You should have still told me about your feelings." Harry said fiercely.

Hermione crossed her arms across her chest and looked at Harry.

"And what would you have done Harry, confess your love for me?" Hermione asked sarcastically.

Harry was quiet so Hermione continued.

"Why did you read it? It's called a personal diary for a reason." Hermione snapped.

However, her anger evaporated in a matter of seconds.

"Why does it matter even, Harry? What I feel is my business, no one else's. You were not supposed to read that diary." She said in a tired voice.

"How can you say it even? What you feel is my business, you are my business. I want to know if something or someone is hurting you, even if it's me." Harry shouted in reply.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I knew you didn't feel the way I felt for you and knowing you, you would have blamed yourself over something on which you had no control." Hermione said in a sad voice, looking at the floor.

Harry's shoulders stooped low in defeat. "All those times when we were talking about my relationship with Cho, when you gave me advice regarding how to approach Cho, on outside you were always smiling, but inside you were hurting. You said you didn't want to hurt me. But I am hurting now. What are you going to do about it Hermione?" Harry said, hurt evident in his voice.

"Remember, you suffer I suffer." Harry said sarcastically.

Harry gripped Hermione's chin lightly and raised her face upwards so that he could see in her eyes.

"Don't you understand Hermione? You are the most important person in my life. Do you really think that I would choose Cho or anyone else over you?" Harry asked in a soft voice.

Hermione's eyes glazed with unshed tears.

"That's exactly the reason why I didn't tell you Harry. I know you would have chosen me. But it would have been out of friendship or pity for my unrequited feelings. I wanted you to choose me out of love. Not a friend's love, but a lover's love, Harry. I am in love with you and I want you to love me back the way I do. And the problem is that you don't feel the same way." Hermione said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Hermione quickly wiped it away and smiled at Harry, putting up a brave front.

"But you know what? It's ok. I didn't expect you to return my feelings. Nobody can help the way they feel. And to be truth I was alright with it. As long as you didn't know about it, it was easier to be around you. However, now that you know about it, things might get a little awkward between us. And I am sorry for hurting you. But I assure you that our friendship is strong enough to get through this entire debacle." Hermione said with a friendly smile.

"And don't worry, one day I would get over you." Hermione said the last part with a chuckle.

Harry didn't say anything, his mind was completely blank. He knew he loved Hermione. But was it just a friend's love or more than that, he didn't know. He was sure of one thing though. Whatever he felt for Hermione, it was a very strong feeling. Then there was this sudden desire to kiss her.

He had never been in love before so he didn't know how it felt to be in love with someone. There was no one with whom he could share his confusion.

Hermione interrupted his thoughts. "I better go. They would be thinking that we are snogging here." Hermione said in an amused voice, in an attempt to cover her pain. However, looking at Harry's face she knew it was a failed attempt.

Without saying anything, Hermione cast an Alohomora spell on the door and left the dormitory leaving a hurt, sad, and confused Harry behind.

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